I have been in physical pain for the last 4 weeks with a blocked ear. I didn’t think a blocked ear could cause so much pain. Sometimes I have just broken down and cried. Every day, though, I have got up with the intent of continuing my amazing life.
My life is amazing because I talk to God every day and he gives me interesting things to do and say and think. Even through the pain, that is something that can’t be taken from me. I am always waiting for the the next idea, the next direction, the next piece of inspiration.
Last night I learnt that the oil I am putting into my ear must be a certain temperature and the room needs to be a certain temperature too. I learnt that the hard way, and suffered for sleeping in a room not quite warm enough. Today I feel “Why? Why do have to feel so low today, so tired, so broken?”
Of course these are the questions I asked God and then He spoke to me of courage. He said that I should focus on my courage, rather than on the things I can’t do or feel I am getting wrong. God says that this is a lesson in believing in my courage.
And when my ear finally gets unblocked, I guess I will be that little bit stronger and a bit more courageous than I was before.
Hi, I was lying in bed last night struggling to sleep. This is not a mild sort of struggle. It is a real ‘I can’t sleep!’ It has been going on for a long time and I would say that it is because I don’t feel grounded. So sometimes I talk to God.
Last night I said ” God, Why do I have this problem?” and God replied “Because you are not fully in your power” I asked “What stops me?” and God said “You.” I said “How?” God said “Well, you have this experience of me. Why don’t you write about it?”
So here I am willing to write. I find it hard to write about my relationship with God. It is like someone asking me to write about my husband. I mean there is so much I could say . . . where would I start?!
So here is an attempt to explain how I go about things in my day to day life. When I wake up in the morning, I don’t quite say “Hello, God” but I immediately wonder what my day is going to be about. I check into my feelings, my thoughts and how my body feels. This always gives me some clues. Well, this is all I used to do . . but these days it is a little more complicated. 3 years ago I realised I had an unusual experience of being very sensitive to the light. As the light changes, so do my feelings, thoughts and how I feel in my body.
For instance today, on January 9th, I am seeing a little less red in the light that I think most others would see and a little more violet that most others would see. The lack of red causes me to feel ungrounded and the violet light causes to me to feel full of ideas and inspiration. Understanding more of why I feel the way I do enriches my experience of God. I think “Wow . . God is speaking to me through my relationship with the light. This is amazing!”
I would say that living by the light is like having an extra anchor for my soul. It takes me deeper and helps me feel more connected to myself, my environment and of course ultimately . . . God.